The Executive Skills Parents Notice Most at Home: Executive Function Series Part 3
Once parents understand executive function and the knowing doing gap, a new question often comes up:
“Which executive skills is my child actually struggling with?”
In Smart but Scattered, Peg Dawson explains that executive function is not one single ability. It is a set of distinct but interconnected skills. A child may be strong in some areas and struggle significantly in others. At home, executive function challenges tend to show up in predictable ways. Below are the executive skills parents most commonly notice during daily routines.
Task Initiation
Task initiation refers to the ability to begin a task without excessive prompting.
Children who struggle with task initiation often:
Delay starting homework or chores
Appear stuck even when tasks are familiar
Wait for repeated reminders before beginning
This difficulty is often mistaken for procrastination or lack of motivation. From an executive function perspective, the challenge lies in getting started, not in willingness.
Working Memory
Working memory allows children to hold information in mind while using it.
When working memory is weak, children may:
Forget multi step instructions
Lose track of what they were doing mid task
Need directions repeated frequently
At home, this often shows up during routines like getting ready in the morning or completing homework assignments with multiple parts.
Planning and Prioritization
Planning and prioritization involve setting goals, organizing steps, and deciding what to do first.
Children with challenges in this area may:
Underestimate how long tasks will take
Feel overwhelmed by larger assignments
Struggle to decide where to begin
These difficulties become more noticeable as school demands increase and tasks require more independent planning.
Organization
Organization refers to managing materials, spaces, and information.
At home, organization challenges may include:
Losing belongings
Messy backpacks or workspaces
Difficulty keeping track of school materials
This is not a reflection of carelessness. It reflects difficulty creating and maintaining systems without external support.
Emotional Control
Emotional control is the ability to manage feelings in order to complete tasks and handle frustration.
Children who struggle with emotional control may:
Become easily overwhelmed
Shut down when tasks feel hard
React strongly to small frustrations
Strong emotions can temporarily overwhelm executive skills, making follow through even more difficult.
Time Management
Time management includes estimating time, pacing work, and meeting deadlines.
Common signs of time management challenges include:
Running late despite reminders
Difficulty transitioning between activities
Waiting until the last minute to complete tasks
These challenges are especially common in the morning, at bedtime, and during homework routines.
Why These Skills Show Up Most at Home
Dawson explains that executive skills are more likely to break down when demands are high and structure is low. Home environments often require children to manage themselves more independently than school settings.
By the end of the day, fatigue and emotional stress further weaken executive functioning. This is why children who seem to “hold it together” at school may struggle significantly at home.
What Parents Can Take From This
Recognizing which executive skills are lagging allows parents to respond more effectively. Instead of viewing behavior as intentional or oppositional, parents can ask:
“Which executive skill is being taxed right now?”
This question opens the door to targeted support rather than repeated conflict.
In Smart but Scattered, Dawson emphasizes that identifying skill specific challenges is the first step toward providing the right kind of scaffolding and helping children build independence over time.
Key Takeaway
Executive function challenges at home are not random. They reflect predictable skill demands embedded in daily routines.
When parents understand which executive skills are involved, they are better equipped to support their child in ways that are effective, respectful, and developmentally appropriate.
Source
Dawson, P., & Guare, R. (2016). Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential (Revised and Updated ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
