Smart but Stalled: How to Strengthen Your Executive Skills and Move Forward
You’re a college student who’s full of potential, yet you feel stuck when it comes to moving forward in school, work, or life in general. Deadlines slip by, responsibilities pile up, and you end up frustrated with yourself. You are not alone in this. Many college students and young adults experience the same frustrations. They know what they want to do, but actually making it happen feels much harder.
The truth is that success in adulthood requires more than just intelligence or talent. It depends heavily on a set of abilities known as executive skills. These are the brain-based skills that help you manage time, organize tasks, control impulses, and stay on track. The book Smart but Scattered and Stalled by Richard Guare, Colin Guare, and Peg Dawson explains how to strengthen these skills step by step. Keep reading so you can begin building the tools you need to reach your goals.
What Exactly Are Executive Skills?
Executive skills are the brain’s management tools. They help you:
Plan and organize your time
Stay focused and avoid distractions
Control impulses and emotions
Keep track of tasks and follow through
Everyone has some executive skills that are stronger and others that are weaker. For example, you might be great at brainstorming ideas but struggle to finish assignments. Or you might keep your dorm room tidy but constantly forget deadlines. The important thing to remember is that these are skills, not fixed traits. Just like muscles, they can be strengthened with effort and practice.
Why Do I Feel Stuck If I’m Smart?
Being intelligent does not automatically mean you know how to manage life. Many college students and young adults get stuck because:
Responsibilities pile up. College courses, part-time jobs, clubs, and planning for the future can feel overwhelming when everything demands attention at the same time.
Planning feels overwhelming. Without a clear system, important tasks like meeting a deadline or studying for an exam fall through the cracks.
Stress leads to avoidance. When an assignment feels too big or intimidating, it is easy to put it off and then scramble at the last minute.
When executive skills are weak, even small responsibilities can feel heavy. It is not that you are unwilling to succeed, but that you need better tools to manage the steps along the way.
How Can I Strengthen My Executive Skills?
The book Smart but Scattered and Stalled offers a clear 10-step process to help young adults get unstuck. These ten steps work best when practiced consistently and adapted to your own life.
1. Recognize Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Take a step back and notice where you succeed easily and where you struggle. For example, maybe you are excellent at staying focused during lectures but lose track of due dates. Or maybe you are creative with class projects but disorganized when it comes to your dorm room or backpack. By naming both strengths and weaknesses, you can lean on what works for you while also targeting the areas that need more growth.
Examples:
You always show up to class on time (strength: time awareness).
You lose track of homework deadlines (weakness: planning).
Tips:
Write down one strength and one weakness this week.
Ask a trusted friend what they see as your “strong suit” and what trips you up.
2. Choose One Goal That Matters
Trying to improve in every area of life at the same time will only lead to stress. Choose one important goal to focus on right now. Maybe it is completing your assignments on time, applying for summer internships, finding a part-time job, or building a consistent workout routine. The key is that the goal should matter to you personally, not just to parents or professors.
3. Break It Into Small Steps
Break large goals into smaller, specific steps so they feel less overwhelming. This will help them feel more achievable and motivate you to work toward that goal. Imagine you want to raise your grade in a class. Instead of thinking only about the final exam, you could plan steps like reviewing notes twice a week, going to office hours, and finishing each reading before class.
Example: Instead of saying “get an internship,” divide it into:
Research three companies this week
Write or update your résumé next week
Submit two applications by the following Friday
Tips:
Treat each step as its own mini-goal.
Keep a checklist so you can cross off tasks and see progress
4. Take Ownership of Your Plan
Your plan should reflect your own priorities. When the plan feels personal to you, you are more motivated to stick with it. Ask yourself, “Does this plan actually work for me?” Make adjustments to the plan until it feels realistic and personal.
Examples:
If you focus better in the library, schedule your study sessions there.
If you prefer digital tools, use an app instead of a paper planner.
5. Set Realistic Deadlines
Deadlines are easier to meet when they are clear, specific, and broken down into checkpoints. Instead of saying, “I will start my paper soon,” decide, “I will write the outline by Wednesday and the introduction by Friday.” For everyday life, it might mean planning to pay your credit card bill on the first of the month rather than waiting until you get a reminder email.
Tips:
Use reminders, alarms, or calendar notifications.
Break big deadlines into smaller ones so you do not wait until the last minute.
6. What If I Hit a Roadblock?
Obstacles are part of the process, so it is best to plan for them in advance. This makes it easier to handle them calmly when they happen. Write down possible obstacles you may encounter and formulate a backup plan so you are prepared.
Examples:
If your phone distracts you, use an app that blocks social media while you study.
If you tend to oversleep, set two alarms or ask a friend to check in.
7. How Do I Keep Myself Motivated Along the Way?
Do not wait until the very end to celebrate progress. Recognize small wins to stay energized. For example, if you planned to apply to five internships and you completed two applications this week, give yourself credit for that progress. You could reward yourself with a coffee break, a walk with a friend, or simply taking a moment to recognize that you are moving forward.
Tips:
Reward effort, not just the final outcome.
Keep a journal or list of small wins to remind yourself that you are moving forward.
8. Learn From Others Around You
Notice how people you admire manage their responsibilities. A classmate might use color-coded calendars, or your roommate might set a timer for focused study blocks. Adopting small strategies from others can give you practical tools without having to figure everything out on your own. Experiment until you find methods that fit your style and work for you.
9. Revise the Plan When Needed
If your plan is not working, that does not mean you failed. It means you need to adjust. Flexibility helps you stay committed without giving up. It is important to treat each plan as an experiment and to remember to avoid being self-critical.
Examples:
You planned to read three chapters a night but only managed one. Adjust the schedule.
You tried studying in the evening but kept getting distracted. Try mornings instead.
10. Practice Independence Gradually
Becoming fully independent takes time and practice. If you have always relied on reminders from family to pay bills, try taking over one responsibility at a time. This could look like managing your weekly groceries and meal planning, before taking on bigger responsibilities. Each step toward independence strengthens your confidence and prepares you for bigger challenges ahead.
Tips:
Add responsibilities step by step instead of all at once.
Notice how your confidence increases with each success.
The Long-Term Payoff
At first, this process may feel slow. Change rarely happens overnight, and progress is not always in a straight line. But every time you practice these skills, you build the foundation for long-term success. Stronger executive skills will not only help you with schoolwork or job applications. They will also prepare you for managing money, living on your own, and building the kind of life you want in adulthood.
If you feel stuck right now, remember that you are not failing. You are learning skills that many young adults are still developing. By focusing on one goal at a time, breaking it into steps, and practicing independence gradually, you can move forward with confidence. Though the process will not be perfect, every step you take builds your executive skills and brings you closer to independence and success.
Resource:
Guare, R., Guare, C., & Dawson, P. (2019). Smart but scattered—and stalled: 10 steps to help young adults use their executive skills to set goals, make a plan, and successfully leave the nest. The Guilford Press.
