Why Consistency Matters: Behavior Series Part 5
When a child struggles with behavior, it rarely happens in just one place. Parents may see challenges at home, teachers may see similar difficulties at school, and each setting may respond differently.
From the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) perspective, inconsistency across environments can make behavior challenges harder to resolve—not because adults are doing something wrong, but because children are being asked to navigate different expectations without the skills to manage them. Consistency and collaboration help reduce this strain and support meaningful change.
Why Different Approaches Can Increase Struggles
In The Explosive Child, Ross Greene explains that when adults respond to the same difficulty in different ways, children may experience confusion or increased stress.
For example:
A child may be punished in one setting and problem-solved with in another
Expectations may be rigid in one environment and flexible in another
Adults may interpret the child’s behavior through different lenses
When expectations and responses vary widely, children with lagging skills must adapt quickly, often in ways they are not yet able to do. CPS emphasizes the importance of shared understanding, rather than identical rules.
Shared Understanding Before Shared Strategies
Consistency in CPS does not mean doing everything exactly the same way. Instead, it means adults share:
A common understanding of why behavior is occurring
Agreement that lagging skills are contributing
A commitment to solving problems proactively
When adults align around these principles, responses become more predictable and supportive, even across different settings.
Collaboration Across Home and School
Greene highlights that behavior challenges improve most when the adults in a child’s life communicate and work together. This collaboration may involve:
Sharing observations about triggers and patterns
Discussing which expectations are most difficult
Aligning language used when talking with the child
Coordinating problem-solving efforts
When home and school communicate regularly, children receive clearer messages and greater support.
Solving Problems as a Team
CPS encourages adults to view themselves as partners—not only with the child, but with one another.
When adults collaborate:
Problem-solving becomes more effective
Solutions are more likely to generalize across settings
Adults feel less isolated and frustrated
Importantly, CPS focuses on solving one problem at a time, rather than trying to fix everything at once. This measured approach helps teams stay focused and realistic.
What This Means for Long-Term Growth
When children experience consistent, collaborative responses to challenges, they are more likely to:
Develop stronger problem-solving skills
Improve emotional regulation
Build trust with adults
Experience fewer repeated behavior conflicts
Over time, these skills support not just behavior improvement, but overall well-being.
A Final Thought
Challenging behavior is not a failure of parenting, teaching, or discipline. From a CPS perspective, it is a sign that a child needs support developing certain skills, and that adults play a critical role in guiding that growth. When adults work together, children are given the best chance to succeed.
Reference
Greene, R. W. (2014). The Explosive Child (6th ed.). HarperCollins.
