When challenging behavior shows up again and again, it’s rarely random. Many parents and teachers can predict exactly when a child is most likely to struggle—during transitions, homework time, group work, bedtime, or when plans change unexpectedly.

According to psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, these predictable patterns are important clues. In the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, recurring behavior challenges are not viewed as intentional misbehavior, but as signals that certain expectations are exceeding a child’s current skills.Understanding where and why behavior occurs is the first step toward meaningful change.

Why Certain Situations Trigger Behavior

In The Explosive Child, Greene explains that children often struggle in specific situations, not across all settings. This is because behavior difficulties arise when:

A particular expectation is placed on the child, and
The child does not yet have the skills to respond adaptively

These situations, sometimes called problematic expectations, might include things like:

Stopping a preferred activity
Completing non-preferred tasks
Managing frustration or disappointment
Handling transitions or changes in routine
Working independently or with peers

Rather than asking, “Why does this child keep doing this?”, CPS encourages adults to ask:

“What about this situation is hard for them?”

Lagging Skills, Not Lack of Motivation

A central idea in CPS is that challenging behavior reflects lagging cognitive and emotional skills, not a lack of effort or willingness.

Greene describes several skill areas that commonly contribute to behavior difficulties, including challenges with:

Flexibility and adapting to change
Tolerating frustration
Problem-solving
Managing emotions
Communicating needs effectively

When these skills are underdeveloped, a child may become overwhelmed quickly, especially in situations that require them to use those skills under stress. From a CPS perspective, behavior improves not by increasing pressure, but by building skills and reducing mismatches between expectations and ability.

Looking for Patterns Instead of Isolated Incidents

One of the most helpful shifts CPS offers is moving away from focusing on single incidents and toward noticing patterns over time.

Instead of responding only after behavior occurs, adults are encouraged to reflect on questions such as:

When does this behavior most often happen?
What expectations are present in those moments?
Are the same skills being demanded repeatedly?

By identifying patterns, adults can anticipate challenges and address them proactively, before frustration turns into behavior.

Understanding Comes Before Solving

Greene emphasizes that adults often rush to solutions without fully understanding the problem. In CPS, understanding always comes first.

This means:

Listening without correcting or persuading
Gathering information about the child’s experience
Avoiding assumptions about intent
When adults slow down and seek to understand a child’s perspective, they are better equipped to support skill development and reduce repeated behavior challenges.

What This Means for Parents and Teachers

Identifying triggers and lagging skills does not mean lowering expectations indefinitely. Instead, it allows adults to:

Set expectations more thoughtfully
Choose battles intentionally
Support growth without unnecessary conflict

When adults understand what’s getting in the way, they can respond with empathy, clarity, and purpose, rather than frustration.

Coming Next in This Series

In the next post, we’ll focus on proactive supports - how adjusting expectations, teaching skills, and planning ahead can reduce challenging behavior before it starts.

Reference

Greene, R. W. (2014). The Explosive Child (6th ed.). HarperCollins.

Identifying Triggers and Lagging Skills: Behavior Series Part 2