By the time challenging behavior shows up, everyone involved is usually already overwhelmed. Emotions are high, expectations feel urgent, and adults are left reacting in the moment.

One of the central ideas in Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model is that waiting for behavior to occur before responding puts both children and adults at a disadvantage. Instead, Greene emphasizes the importance of addressing problems proactively, before they escalate.

Proactive support is not about eliminating expectations. It’s about aligning expectations with a child’s current skills and teaching those skills over time.

Why Reactive Strategies Fall Short

In The Explosive Child, Greene explains that adults often rely on strategies that address behavior after it happens—consequences, lectures, reminders, or increased pressure. While these approaches may stop behavior temporarily, they rarely lead to lasting improvement. This is because the underlying issue, the child’s lagging skills, remains unaddressed.

From a CPS perspective, reacting after the fact:

Does not teach missing skills
Often increases frustration for both adults and children
Can lead to repeated power struggles

Lasting change happens when problems are addressed before a child becomes overwhelmed.

What Proactive Support Looks Like in CPS

CPS encourages adults to think ahead about situations that are known to be difficult and ask:

What expectations are likely to overwhelm this child?
What skills are required in this situation?
How can we reduce stress while still supporting growth?

Proactive supports might include:

Adjusting how or when an expectation is introduced
Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps
Providing additional structure or predictability
Teaching skills during calm moments, not crises
These supports are not permanent accommodations, but intentional steps to help a child build capacity over time.

Balancing Expectations and Skills

A key CPS principle is recognizing when expectations temporarily exceed a child’s ability to meet them successfully. When this happens repeatedly, behavior challenges are likely to follow.

Greene describes three general ways adults tend to respond to expectations:

Insisting the expectation be met immediately
Temporarily reducing or removing the expectation
Collaboratively working toward a solution

CPS prioritizes thoughtful decision-making around expectations, with the goal of minimizing conflict while still supporting skill development.

Teaching Skills Outside the Moment

One of the most important proactive strategies in CPS is separating skill instruction from moments of high emotion. When a child is already dysregulated, learning new skills is unlikely.

Instead, CPS emphasizes:

Teaching problem-solving skills during calm times
Practicing flexibility, communication, and frustration tolerance gradually
Revisiting expectations collaboratively
This approach allows children to build skills in a supportive environment rather than under pressure.

What This Means for Parents and Teachers

Proactive supports help shift behavior support from a cycle of reaction to a process of growth. When adults plan ahead:

Fewer crises occur
Relationships feel less strained
Children experience more success

Supporting behavior proactively does not mean avoiding challenges—it means creating conditions where children are more likely to meet them successfully.

Coming Next in This Series

In the next post, we’ll look at how to solve problems collaboratively, including how adults can work with children to address ongoing challenges in a way that builds skills and preserves relationships.

Reference

Greene, R. W. (2014). The Explosive Child (6th ed.). HarperCollins.

Preventing Challenging Behavior: Behavior Series Part 3